Pippin vs The World
by CelticWolf
Summary: This is a cute story about a younger Merry and Pippin and their Shire escapades when they discover bees, bunnies, and countless other curious creatures. CHAPTER 2 UP! Pippin learns a valuable life lesson about bunnies, the hard way. Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Period. Not even Pippin (*sob*). Everything belongs to the genius J.R.R. Tolkien. Not like you didn't know that already.  
  
Author's Note: This is just a cute story about the escapades of a younger Merry and Pippin. It was inspired by D for Dumbledores in my big periwinkle book of LOTR. I plan to add a few more chapters in the near future. Told from Merry's POV. And now.on with the story!  
  
  
  
  
  
~*Chapter One*~ On Bringing Home Baby Bumblebees.  
  
"Pippin slow down! I just ate second breakfast!" But my little cousin only giggled and ran faster. I plodded after him a bit before clutching my stomach and doubling over, praying that I wouldn't have to be reunited with my rather large breakfasts.  
  
"What's da matter, Mer?" Pippin stopped and turned around, his mouth hanging open as it always does when he stares at something (and I must say it makes him appear quite stupid).  
  
"I don't feel too good, Pip," I said, groaning.  
  
"Why?" he asked, the same look on his face.  
  
"Cause I was hungry."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just because."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"SHUT UP, PIP!"  
  
His eyes suddenly welled up and his bottom lip quivered.  
  
"I-I'm s-sorry Merry! I did-didn't m-mean t-to annoy you!" By this point tears were streaming down his rosy cheeks. Honestly, Pippin can be such a little baby.  
  
"It's okay, Pippin." I sighed. It can be so hard being the older, mature one. "O-okay Merry," sniffled Pippin, wiping his oversized eyes. "I won't ever annoy you, Merry, never, ever, ever, again. I pwomish."  
  
"Fine. Now leave me alone until my tummy feels better. I'll catch up with you later." My second breakfast did a cartwheel in my stomach.  
  
"Okay Merry." He turned and walked a few feet before looking back at me, his eyes still big and watery.  
  
"You won't die, will you, Merry?" he whimpered, his lip beginning to tremble again.  
  
"No, Pip, I'll be fine in a bit," I replied with a sigh.  
  
"Oh. All right." He looked much less upset. Pip waved his pudgy little hand and skipped off, leaving me lying on the ground clutching my belly in pain.  
  
Lucky for me I didn't see my breakfast again. I took a few short naps, which did make me feel a bit better. It seemed like hours had passed (and perhaps they did) as I lay there on the ground with my stomach churning. But I was finally able to muster enough strength to get up and find Pippin. I was about to stand up when I heard a terrified scream. It took me quite by surprise, causing me to topple back onto my (rather sensitive) bum.  
  
"What the.?"  
  
Suddenly, Pippin emerged, running, from a small clump of trees. My eyes widened in horror as I saw what was chasing him: a giant, black, buzzing, MONSTER! My cousin was waving his arms about wildly, trying to fend off the beast. It was then I realized that it was not one monster, but DOZENS OF THEM!! They were all flying in a group! Each would dive at poor Pippin, and after each dive he would scream in pain and try to swat their little bodies away. But the things would only fly back, regroup, and dive at him again, and again, and again!  
  
I watched in utter terror when it dawned on me: Pippin was running, the little monsters in hot pursuit, right at ME!  
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I must have leapt nearly three feet in the air. Completely forgetting the dull ache in my tummy I took off as fast as my fuzzy hobbit feet could carry me. In my panic, I tripped over a stone. I struggled to get up but I only tripped over my own feet (Mum always tells me that I have abnormally large feet for a hobbit of my age). I turned my head; Pippin was nearly upon me.  
  
"Pippin!" I cried desperately. "Pippin! Stop! Run the other way! I'm here!"  
  
"MERRY! SAVE MEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
"Pippin--DON'T--"  
  
It was too late. Pippin threw his small, chubby, self on top of me. And the ferocious monsters followed. I felt their little bodies hit me, bounce off my face, fly down my shirt, and get stuck in my curly hair. Then--PAIN! Utter pain as they dug their teeth into me. I began to cry as hard as my cousin (who was still lying on top of me, at least acting as a shield).  
  
"I've got to get help!" I though in a panic. "But first I've gotta get Pip off me!" I gave a mighty shove and Pippin fell off. I leapt to my feet and grabbed his hand.  
  
"C'mon! Let's get outta here!" I gave him a tug but he wouldn't move--he was crying too hard.  
  
"Pip, PLEASE!" I could barely think through all my pain and tears. I opened my mouth to yell at him again but a monster flew in there, too! I managed to spit it out, but not before it bit me firmly on the tongue.  
  
"BBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEEHHHHHHH!" I cried, beginning to hop around with my poor tongue searing with pain. "PWIP! GWET HWELP! NWOW! AW MWY HWOLE! PWEASE!" Only Elbereth knows how I managed to choke out those words. But somehow, my message got through to my thick-skulled cousin. He ran. I don't know what made him change his mind, but he ran faster than I've ever seen a hobbit run before. Thankfully (for me, that is) he took some of the monsters with him.  
  
~*~  
  
"What, in all of Middle Earth, were you thinking, Peregrin Took?"  
  
"I dunno, Auntie Esmeralda."  
  
Pippin and I were both lying in my mum's bed. I winced as she rubbed a mixture of healing herbs on my little wounds. I felt a bit better since the attack, but my tongue was very swollen (not to mention numb) and my sensitive bum was still throbbing.  
  
"What were those things, Auntie Esmeralda?" Pippin inquired as he rubbed the smelly herbal paste that was on his arm.  
  
"Don't touch that, Peregrin," Mum scolded. "The 'monsters' as you called them are known as dumbledores. They're rather vicious flying creatures. They live together in a hive and make honey all day. Now--"  
  
"I like honey," Pippin interrupted. "Yes, dear. Now my question is, young Pippin, why did they stop making honey?" Mum gave him that scary look she always gave me when I did something bad and wouldn't fess up to it.  
  
Pippin's marked up face turned pink. "I uh.well.I.dunno." Pippin stammered.  
  
"C'won, Pwit! Spwit i ow!" I cried, even though I could barely talk. " I yamma know, pwoo, why tha dwumbledwoores stopth makewing honwee twoo attacth mwy senwapwif bwum!"  
  
Pippin flushed a deep red. "I'm sworry I made them hurt your bum, Merry, honest. But.they."  
  
"Yes, Pippin?" Mum asked, placing her hands on her hips.  
  
"I like honey," he said simply.  
  
"Is that it?"  
  
"Well, I saw their big brown house thing and I saw the honey and my tummy said 'I want honey NOW!'" Pippin continued.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"So I thought 'They look cute and fuzzy, why not just poke a stick up there and get some?' Then.they got miffed at me. A few came down and bit me on the arm. I started to cry and I squashed one, but that just made more and more and more come out!" His already large eyes got even bigger in terror as he recalled the moment. "They all started to attack me so I ran away! But they all followed! It was terrible."  
  
Mum sighed, but there was a look of amusement playing on her face. "Well, Peregrin, I hope you've learned that dumbledores aren't cute and cuddly. And they don't bite they sting. They've got little barbs attached to their bottoms that they jab into your skin."  
  
Pippin had a look of awe on his face. "How do you know so much Auntie?" he marveled.  
  
"I've been around, Pippin, I've been around," she chuckled quietly. "Now you just rest here. Your Uncle Saradoc has gone to fetch your father. They'll be here in a little while. I'll go get you two troublemakers some tea, perhaps it'll make you feel better." Mum walked out, closing the door quietly behind her.  
  
There was silence.  
  
"M--Merry?" Pippin ventured after a good fifteen minutes.  
  
"Wep?"  
  
"Are--are you cross with me?"  
  
"Wesh."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Wesh!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"UH. HUH."  
  
That seemed to get the message across. It can be so hard to communicate when your tongue's the size of a loaf of bread. The corners of Pippin's little mouth turned down into a frown.  
  
"I'm sorry Merry."  
  
I said nothing.  
  
Pippin then leaned over and looked me right in the eyes. "I'll make the boo-boos all better, pwomish." He then kissed me lightly on the cheek and lay back on his side of the bed.  
  
If there's one thing I've ever learned from Pippin, it's that you can't stay angry at him for very long.  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: So that's that! Please read and review! Stay tuned for future chapters. Erm.I'd just like to that J.C. Rocket for being my ever- so-wonderful beta reader! Eeek! And I can't forget my sister! Thanks, Deebs, for being a good sport and holding your tongue and reading Merry's lines so I could get it right! 'Tis all. 


	2. On Tossing Bunnies

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing.  
  
Summary: After being attacked by a vicious hoard of bees, Merry and Pippin are back on their feet and ready to take on the Shire again. This time, unfortunately, Pippin learns a valuable life lesson about bunnies the hard way.Told from Merry's POV.  
  
~*Chapter 2*~ On Tossing Bunnies.  
  
It had been nearly a week since the attack of the dumbledors and the swelling on my tongue had gone down considerably. Unfortunately, it was still somewhat puffy and sore. Ow. Mum told me Pippin was up and about again, but he's been having nightmares and there are little sting marks all over his face. Serves the little bugger right in my opinion. I change my mind: it IS easy to remain angry with him.  
  
But now Mummy's making me play with him again! Just because she was going on some silly trip into town with Auntie Eglantine! I couldn't even imagine what else my dim-witted cousin was going to mess up next.  
  
"Mum." I whined. "I'm not going to play with him ever never ever again! He tried to kill me!"  
  
"Now Merry, Pippin didn't try to kill you," Mum cooed. "He was just.well.being Pippin. Besides, you love him and you know it."  
  
"I don't love him, I hate him. He's stupid," I insisted stubbornly.  
  
"Fine, Merry, think what you wish," Mum said. "But you're going to play nice with him regardless of whether you hate him or not."  
  
"Mum."  
  
"Not another word, Meriadoc."  
  
I folded my arms angrily.  
  
"Pippin and Auntie Eglantine should be coming any minute now. And you will behave and you will play with your cousin," Mum told me as she took the singing teapot off the fire.  
  
I walked back to my room in a huff. I did not want to "baby-sit" him! I plopped down on the bed. Literally babysitting him would be a good idea. But then I realized that my sensitive bum wouldn't take well to sitting on him all day, not to mention Mum would be cross with me. I groaned and flopped onto my pillow. I picked up Cootie, my rag doll kitten. I'm still wondering why I named him Cootie.  
  
"Why, Cootie? Why me?" I asked, holding him above my head. Cootie made no reply. I sighed. "Why does Pippin have to be my cousin? Why does Mum force me to play with him? And WHY does he always do stupid things when I try and play with him!" Cootie just stared back at me with his button eyes. "Oh, shush," I growled, throwing him at the wall and rolling onto my side. I hard a voice close to the outside of my room, perhaps in the kitchen.  
  
"Where's Merry, Auntie Esmeralda?"  
  
Pippin. I put my pillow over my head; somehow hoping it would hide me. Unfortunately for me, it didn't. I heard the door slowly creek open.  
  
"Hi Merry, I've been lookin' for ya!"  
  
"Mwhumph maffwa moof," I muttered from under my pillow.  
  
"What's that, Mer?" Suddenly I felt the whole weight of his cubby body hit me.  
  
"OOOF! Pippin! What's the big idea?!" I cried, shoving him off.  
  
"I wanted to give my favoritest cousin a great big hug!" he giggled.  
  
I growled. "Well don't hug me so roughly next time, okay?" I said, rubbing my ribs.  
  
Pip giggled again. "Okay, Merry." He sat down next to me on the bed.  
  
"How's your tongue?" my cousin inquired with a small smile.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"And your face?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"And your bum?"  
  
"I don't wanna talk about it, Pip."  
  
"Oh. Sworry."  
  
I sighed. I looked like there'd be no escaping my cousin this time. "What did you want to do today anyway?" I asked grudgingly. "Well, Merry," Pippin began, standing up with a big smile on his face. "Mummy says that if you're with me we could into town together."  
  
"And.?"  
  
"Just the other day I was there and I met a hobbit called Mr. Burrows. He owns a place where he takes bunny fur and makes vests and such."  
  
"So.?"  
  
"He has lots and lots and lots of bunnies!" Pippin cried, throwing his arms into the air. "And he lets me hold them and pet them and feed them carrots! I can come and play with them whenever I want!"  
  
"That's what you want to do? Play with bunnies?"  
  
"Uh huh!" he said, nodding enthusiastically. "And I taught them a trick that I wanna show you."  
  
"What's the trick?"  
  
Pippin leaned closer to me, as if he were going to whisper to me. But I'll have you know that Pippin has an odd way of whispering. Instead of speaking into my ear, he puts his ear to mine and talks very quietly. So if you want to get picky, he's really not whispering to me, just being quiet. But all in the same, he pressed his ear against mine and said, "I teached them to talk!"  
  
"What?!" I was certain my little cousin had gone mad.  
  
"They talk! All of them! They just move their mouths like this--" Pippin demonstrated, "and all I have to do is give them a treat!"  
  
I shook my head. "I don't believe you, Pip. Bunnies don't talk, not matter what kind of treat you give them!"  
  
"Uh huh! These do!"  
  
"Na uh! They can't!"  
  
"Uh huh!"  
  
"Na uh!"  
  
"Uh huh!"  
  
"Na uh!" "Uh huh!"  
  
"Na uh! Prove it!"  
  
"Then come with me!"  
  
"Fine!" I realized too late that I had agreed to play with him. In an odd sort of way, that is.  
  
"Gwee!" Pippin grabbed my arm and dragged me out of my room and into the kitchen.  
  
"Mummy!" Pip called. "Cousin Merrwy and me are goin' to play with da bunnies at Mr. Burrow's, m'kay?"  
  
"That's nice, Peregrin," Auntie Eglantine said. "Be sure to keep an eye on him, Meriadoc. Pippin is a little too wild with them sometimes."  
  
"No, Auntie, I'm not really--" I started, but Mum gave me a reproving look. I sighted. "Yes, Auntie," I muttered.  
  
"Good. Have fun you two! And Pippin, don't pull on the bunnies' tails, no matter how fluffy they are, okay?" Auntie Eglantine reminded my cousin. I couldn't help but picture myself trying to pry his pudgy little hands off a bunny's tail.  
  
"I pwomish, Mummy," Pip reassured her, giving his mum a kiss on the cheek. He then turned back to me and attached himself to my arm again.  
  
"Let's go, Mer!" he cried, tugging me out the door. "You'll like them, I pwomish!" I groaned. Pippin makes too many promises. The scary thing is that he seldom keeps them. ~*~  
  
"Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourselves, Peregrin?" Mr. Burrows asked, handing a light brown bunny to Pippin. Mr. Burrows was short, even for a hobbit (I was almost as tall as he was) with a wide stomach and a warm smile. According to Pippin, he always wore his big straw hat with a large goose feather in it, which he was very proud of. He told me the story of how he got the feather; something about the goose sneaked into his hobbit hole and it ate all of his seedcakes and got stuck behind his bed, but that's all I remember. Mr. Burrows talks very fast when he's excited, so most of the story when right over my head.  
  
"Yes sir, Mr. Burrows," Pippin said, giving the bunny in his arms a tight (but loving) squeeze.  
  
"Okay, Pippin," Mr. Burrows said, smiling and ruffling his brown curls. "I'll be right out there at my shop if either of you two need me." With that, Mr. Burrows walked out and shut the door behind him, leaving me utterly alone with my cousin.  
  
"Pippin turned to me and grinned. "Let me induce you to all da bunnies!"  
  
"It's introduce, Pip," I corrected, but he paid no heed.  
  
"This one's ma favoritest," he told me, indicating the light brown rabbit in his arms. "His name's Tater 'cause he looks just like a potato!"  
  
"I see." I said, examining the bunny he was holding. It was round like a potato.  
  
"And these two," he motioned to two white bunnies, "are Dagger and Stagger."  
  
"Those are horrible names, Pip!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Well, they had to rhyme, silly. And these three--" he pointed to a trio of dark brown rabbits, "--are Bag, Lag, and Sag."  
  
"Pippin! Those are the stupidest, most terrible names I've ever heard!" I cried aghast. But he just went on naming them to me.  
  
"These are Bump and Lump, and Boo and Poo, and Loopy and Skoopy." The list just went on, and on, and on, and on!  
  
"Oh, and you can't forget Neutral!" he exclaimed, pointing to a patched bunny.  
  
"Neutral?" I asked.  
  
"Uh huh! He has lottsa colors." I didn't bother to argue.  
  
"Ooo! Over here is the big one!" Pippin ran over to a cage where there was a single huge, fat, fluffy, gray rabbit.  
  
"Whoa." I whispered. "That's one big bunny."  
  
"Yup," Pippin smiled proudly, as if it were his. "His name's Oliphant, like the ones from the stories you mummy would tell us when I was small."  
  
"Uh.Pippin? You're still small," I reminded him.  
  
"Well I know that! I just meant smaller than now! I'm not stupid ya know." I was about to tell him that I thought he was stupid, but I decided to just keep quiet.  
  
"But the point is," Pip continued, "that I named him Oliphant 'cause he's gray and almost as big as his house!"  
  
"That's very nice, Pip. It is a very good name for him."  
  
"I know." Pippin was still smiling proudly.  
  
I looked around the room full of rabbits and then looked back at Pip. "Do you hear that?" I asked.  
  
"No, what?" Pippin put his hand to his large ear.  
  
"It's the sound of them NOT TALKING! I told you so! Bunnies can't talk!"  
  
"Yes they can!" My cousin made a pouty face. "I told you, Merry, you gotta give 'em a treat first!"  
  
"Oh, yeah, I forgot," I said blandly. My cousin looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"I'll go get some carrots," Pippin said. He opened a box over in the corner. "They just love carrots!"  
  
"I'm sure they do, Pip," I muttered sarcastically. Still, my stupid little cousin could not be deterred and he continued to dole out carrots to each and every rabbit.  
  
"There," he declared after his work was done. "Now you just watch, Merry, you'll see."  
  
I watched and waited. The bunnies just sat there, chewing happily on the carrots.  
  
"Erm.Pip? I'm sorry to break it to ya but.they aren't talking." I glanced nervously at him. Honestly, he must have been crazy to even think that bunnies could talk.  
  
"Shhh! Just watch!"  
  
I stared back at the bunnies. They were still chewing. Suddenly, Pippin grabbed my arm. "Look." he whispered in awe. "They're trying to talk! See their mouths movin'? They're trying to make noise!  
  
"Pip, I think they're chewing on the carrots that you gave them."  
  
"No! They're talkin'! I know these things, Merry, and that one's talking; and that one, and that one, too!"  
  
"Pippin--"  
  
My cousin stooped down and picked up Tater again. "Tater's talking, too! " He gave the rabbit a tight squeeze. "It's wonderful! They're ALL talking!"  
  
"Pip, they're not--"  
  
Then Pippin did the stupidest thing I've ever seen, or even heard of, for that matter. Stupider than I thought he was capable of being, if you could believe that. In his joy he took Tater and threw it in the air. Yes, he outright tossed the poor thing. The little brown bunny twisted in the air, its wide brown eyes widened further and seemed to be full of terror (and for a good reason, mind you). Pippin spread his arms to catch Tater as he plummeted downward and--  
  
THWUMP.  
  
The bunny went right through Pippin's arms and hit the floor, where it lay motionless. He looked at it for a moment and then, of all things to do, Pippin giggled.  
  
"Silly, Tater! What are you doing?" My cousin bent down and poked it. I felt sick. "Hey, Mer, he's sleepin' in da middle of da day!"  
  
"Pippin." The bunny couldn't have survived the fall. I swore I was gonna puke.  
  
"Help me wake 'em up, Mere," Pip continued poking Tater.  
  
I knelt down and gave Tater a poke, too. No response. I gave him a little nudge. Still, nothing. I looked up at Pippin. How was I going to tell him?  
  
"Pip." I began. "He's--I don't think--well--he's not really sleeping, Pip."  
  
"Whaddya mean?"  
  
"I think you killed him."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tater's gone.he won't wake up."  
  
"Never ever?"  
  
"Never ever."  
  
He looked down at his favorite bunny, a look of disbelief on his round face. Poor Pippin's eyes welled up and his lip quivered. A little squeak-sob escaped him as he picked up the lifeless rabbit, making his way to the door. By now my little, naïve, cousin was crying his eyes out.  
  
I wiped my own eyes with the back of my sleeve and shuffled sadly after him.  
  
~*~  
  
"It's okay, Peregrin, it's not your fault," Mr. Burrows said, setting his shovel down and patting my cousin on the back. Tears streamed down Pippin's rosy cheeks as he looked at the tiny mound covered in flowers and carrots.  
  
"B-but it is my f-fault! He never woulda died if I hadn't throwed him!" Pippin sobbed.  
  
"We all make mistakes, Peregrin, just some more serious than others. But there are important lessons that can be learned from all mistakes. Now you know that animals like Tater can't be thrown. Tossing is for balls, not bunnies."  
  
Pippin nodded miserably. "I'm so sworry Tater." he whispered, and he placed a small potato on top of the bunny's little burial mound.  
  
Mr. Burrows ruffled Pippin's floppy curls. "Don't worry, Tater's happier now, I'm sure of it." Pippin started to cry even harder and flung himself onto Mr. Burrows, who pat his back lovingly.  
  
"Let's go, Peregrin, your mother will be looking for you soon." Pippin sniffled and nodded, allowing himself to be pulled along by Mr. Burrows.  
  
I turned and looked back at the grave with the little potato resting on top. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Bah-bye, Tater," I said quietly, and plotted after my cousin.  
  
"Hey, Pippers," I whispered as I caught up with him, trying to lighten the mood a little. "You gonna be okay?"  
  
"Uh huh, I think so." he muttered. "I'm sworry, Mer. I'm so stupid. I should of knowed bunnies can't talk. You were right all along."  
  
"Don't say that, Pip," I said, taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze. "You're not so stupid. Besides, I think I might have heard some talk when we were leaving."  
  
"Really?" Pippin's watery eyes turned up to me, full of innocent, childish hope.  
  
I smiled. "Yes, I'm sure I heard at least a couple say good-bye. I guess you're the one who should be saying 'I told you so'."  
  
He hugged me. "Can we go see them again later? I didn't hear dem talk yet."  
  
"Sure we can, Pip, I'd be happy to. Now, c'mon. I see our mum's over there waiting for us."  
  
"M'kay," Pippin sniffled.  
  
I sighed as I thought to myself. I felt bad about all those things that I had said about Pip earlier. He might be small and somewhat stupid, but no matter what, I'm glad he's my little cousin. Most of the time, anyway. 


End file.
